Most of my summers have consisted of traveling around the U.S or even outside of it. Adventures has always been one of my family's favorite things to do. However, up until August 2013 I always had the same home to come back to. My family never moved.
Leaving home was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I was leaving my 3 younger siblings to go on with their lives without me. It was crushing. I was going to a college where my family was over a thousand miles away and I was solely going alone. On top of everything being new and me being completely lost, I am introvert. I was terrified. However, I had heard so many wonderful and exciting stories of BYU.
"It's the best time in your life!"
"You'll never be happier!!!"
While I believed in BYU as some sort of fairy-tale, I felt like I was leaving one behind in Oklahoma.
My first semester was one of the most trying times in my life. Perhaps this was because I tried so hard to be someone I'm not, or maybe it was because I didn't have the support of a mother anymore. I felt like I was carrying the whole weight of the apartment on my shoulders and slipping in school. On top of all this, EVERYONE was dating...except me. I mean, I went on dates. It wasn't ever successful though. Stressful.
I remember staring at the ceiling with my heart aching. I wasn't as pretty as everyone else at BYU, I couldn't compete. I didn't have the social skills, special talents, intelligence or spiritual aura the rest had.
It wore me down piece by piece, day after day.
I made friends, well a best friend. I was blessed with the tender mercy of having a roommate who was just enough like me that we were best friends, but also different so we didn't butt heads. I immediately felt like I could talk to her about everything. We'd lay on our beds and talk into the wee hours of the morning about life. Family, love, our worries, fears and future. If I didn't have her, I think I would have given up and gone to live at home. I don't think it was an accident that we were roommates. We were set up by a family who lives in my town and told me we should be roommates. Call it destiny or fate, but we both needed each other. God looks out for us, he always has :)
But I struggled with my other two roommates. They were nothing like me. Now looking back, I think they were my roommates to teach me things so that I wouldn't have to go through those things myself. I quickly learned to clean after myself and dating wasn't what it all it was cracked up to be. I became an expert listener as I heard sob stories and a teacher when asked for advice.
I learned to love the mountains. They were magical as I watched them turn from green to golden colors of red, brown and yellow then finally to white. I've always been in love with snow, it's so peaceful as it falls from the sky. You can always see God's beauty when it snows.
Here are a few things I learned my first semester:
1. Any boy can break your heart if you give them the power to.
2. I'm not even close to as smart as I thought I was.
3. Roommates make or break your semester.
4. God is there, God is always there for you.
5. You can ALWAYS call home too :)
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